I'm not proud of those moments. In fact, I'm embarrassed and ashamed of my past behavior sometimes. I'm sure you can empathize with me. What I've discovered is that most grudges that I've made were usually a result of misunderstanding; a failure to grasp the true reality of the moment.
I could swear the offender meant one thing when they really meant another; harmlessly. Or, perhaps, rumor informed me that they said something that in reality was never even said at all. What I've learned from this is that even if it is all true, grudges do more harm than good.
While a hot-headed reaction may feel appropriate (and really good for a brief moment), you are only allowing yourself to wallow in resentment and anger. And, by increasing your stress levels by the second, your health eventually pays the price. Simply put; my health is worth more than the grudge. So is yours.
I'm not suggesting you must be happy and lovey-dovey with everyone you meet, especially if the person or situation is toxic to your emotional or physical well-being. But, we all need to take time to evaluate before committing to any particular behavior, especially a destructive one.
Sometimes this means you need to walk away from the situation. Step back so that you can return with a clear head, open mind and arrive at a mutual understanding. Other times, this may mean you just walk away.... and keep walking.
The point is that either way, you let go of the grudge and the burden it places on your life. You will feel lighter as you let this tension release and you re-focus on creating happiness within your life. Don't allow yourself to be robbed of that happiness simply because of a grudge that, after further inspection, might have only been started by a little inferior, unimportant, possibly imagined "offense."
While I may not have learn to forgive and forget; I most definitely have learned to at least do one of the two... And, I'm much happier for it! ; )
I welcome your thoughts and experiences on this. If have any to share, all you need to do is post a comment below.
As Always - Enjoy Your Life!
John Aaron Villarreal
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