Skip to main content

Grief in Progress

In my closet I have a cardboard treasure box of notes and momentos from significant people and moments in my life. Sad to say, they are mostly from people I have lost to death. These people have had a positive impact on me and this is how I honor and remember them. This week, I had to add an obituary of a dear friend of mine to that treasure box.
I know that death and loss are natural parts of life, but knowing this does not make the loss, or the grief, any less painful. In fact, I was surprised by just how much the news of Michael’s death affected me. After all, I hadn’t seen him in several years. But regardless, the friendship he gave me made me a better man. For that, I am grateful and cannot help but miss him.
Regardless of whether a death is anticipated or a complete surprise, shock often hits you when a loved one passes. Then, immediately following your loss, accepting the fact that your loved one has indeed passed away is a hard pill to swallow. After someone you love dies, you can be confused by your feelings, maybe even feel frustrated or embarrassed by your response to death.
I say this not to be morbid or morose. I am simply reflecting on my experiences. When I lost my first spouse (Craig) to AIDS, I was angry that anyone could have called this disease a “punishment.” Especially when most never knew the kind, gentle man that he was. He was only 32.
When I lost a former fiancé to cancer, I was confused at how someone as loving and giving as Azalea could be called away by God when the world so clearly needed more people like her. She was the only person I personally knew that came close to saintly in her love for people. Still – she also died young and we were left with one less light in the world.
Of course guilt came each time. They say it’s one of the stages of overcoming grief. I felt guilty that I could not have spent more time with these wonderful people. Perhaps I didn’t tell them I loved them as often as I should have or that they inspired me beyond measure. I certainly feel that way about Mike, now.
Yes, death and loss is a very sad business, and you can feel it very deeply.
The reality is that eventually, we will all personally succumb to it. But not for now. The good news is that I (we) have today to honor the life that we live and honor those that have helped us create the person we now are.
I will miss Mike. I miss all of my friends and loved ones that have gone before me. And in their honor, I will continue to treasure their memory and make good use of the contributions they have made to my life.
If you have lost a loved one, I hope you can relate to the words I’ve written. I leave you with this quote; “Man, when he does not grieve, hardly exists.” - Antonio Porchia
Go – Live Life Well (and to the fullest),
John Aaron Villarreal
www.johnaaron-massage.com
Twitter / Facebook

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Benefits of Regular Massage Sessions

Once people discover the many joys and benefits of massage, a common question arises—“How often should I schedule my massage sessions?”

Of course, there is no set answer, but studies indicate that massage at regular intervals is most beneficial to your overall health.

In a Newsweek article entitled “The Magic of Touch,” the advantages of frequent massage are considered. The following excerpts help to answer the question, “How often?”

“A weekly massage may seem an indulgence, but new research suggests it can have major health benefits...

“Since instituting a program of massage, job-specific exercises and ergonomics in 1990, the Virginia-based company [Wampler Foods] has cut repetitive-stress injuries by 75 percent...

“From assembly lines to corporate headquarters, Americans are discovering the magic of massage. At Boeing and Reebok, headaches, back strain and fatigue have all fallen since the companies started bringing in massage therapists...

Doctors have started prescribing massage …

Simple Steps to Spring Forward Toward Fitness

Daylight savings time is a sure reminder that spring is just around the corner and there WILL eventually be an end to the winter weather. And while much of the country still dealing with bitter cold, here in Houston, we’re definitely ready for the warmer days. In fact, this is the time of year when you’ll find many of us increasing our outdoor activities and all too often push ourselves a little too hard. Unfortunately, what can result is often a few days of painful recovery time.

So, I've got a short list of suggestions to consider as you pursue your favorite warm-weather pastimes this season:

First, increase your activity level gradually— Pay attention to your body’s signals so you can avoid serious injury and don’t have to pay the painful price of overindulgence. Start slowly and do a little more each day and you’ll be up to speed in no time.

Warm up— Plunging into activity before you get your body warmed and ready is inviting potential trouble. Avoid possible sprains, torn liga…

Not tonight… I've got a headache.

Headaches… the perfect way to ruin a romantic rendezvous. No? With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I thought I would talk about headaches and suggest ways to prevent this trouble maker from ruining not only your love life, but your daily life, too.

According to Web MD, 30 to 80% of the adult Americans suffer from occasional tension headaches. Some of these may have hereditary causes, while others can be caused by lifestyle or environment, such as poor posture, unhealthy eating habits, a high stress job, or a demanding home life. Any combination of stress-inducing factors could become the trigger, really.

That said, massage therapy may be your best secret weapon to keep headaches at bay. At the very least, massage therapy can help you deal with the pain while you determine the best approach to maneuvering through the mitigating factors that might be causing your headaches.

But don’t just take my word for it…

According to The American Journal of Manipulative Physiological and T…